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Divinely inspired direct mail, treasured trinkets, and other ways you, too, can be among the faithfully fleeced!

Fresh from the "I would have been a con-man but mama wanted me to be a faith teacher" file is this information posted on the Zoe Ministries website.  That's Profit Jordan, everyone...

HARVEST OF MIRACLES

Bring your seed of 118.25 dollars and receive a prophetic word under the prophetic prosperity tent...

Psalms 118:25 Save now, I beseech thee, O LORD: O LORD, I beseech thee, send now prosperity.

 

Sunday, November 16 (11:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m.) through

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

The Prophet of Illumination

Bishop Carlton Pearson

Tulsa, Oklahoma

 

Wednesday, November 19 through Friday, November 21, 2003,

7:00 p.m. nightly

The Prophet to the Nations

Bishop E. Bernard Jordan

Chief Prelate, Zoe Ministries

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Okay, say it with me:  S-H-A-R-K!!  Now, where did I put that shark repellant?!...

GAMES "PROPHETS" PLAY
#1 Prophecy or profitcy? This shameful fleecing of the flock was found on the website of Prophetic Ministries Tabernacle:

Do you want to know God's personal message for you? Prophet Kent of Prophetic Ministries Tabernacle can provide you with a personal audio taped message. Prophetic Ministries Tabernacle is a 501(c)3 tax-exempted non-profit organization based in Fort Worth, Texas headed by Pastor & Prophet Kent Simpson.

For a personal prophecy audio tape, please send a tax-deductible offering of 25.00 US Dollars. A personal prophecy audio tape will be sent promptly by first class mail. You may request your tape by sending cash, check or credit card information (include name, credit card number and expiration date) to:

Prophetic Ministries Tabernacle
Attn: Prophet Kent Simpson
PO Box ------
Fort Worth, Texas -----


I wonder if a refund is offered if the prophet's words do not come to pass?!

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#2 A Great Quake Will Hit West Coast of USA!
Extra! Read all about it in the November 19, 2002 website edition of Prophetic End Time Watchman:

In February of 2002 Dr. Daniel E. Bohler began to warn the nation that the Lord had shown him a devastating earthquake would strike the West Coast. He was very specific in this warning stating that the quake would be a magnitude of 9.0 or greater, that it would originate in the Pacific Ocean, and that it would cause tidal waves. On November 18, 2002 Dr. Bohler uncovered scientific data that seems to support this prophetic word. In fact the data shows that a fault line off the West Coast was in the midst of a "slow quake" at the time this word was given.

Oops, it appears God was crying "wolf!"
Dateline: December 31, 2002:

After all of these confirmations from the Lord many will wonder why this quake did not occur in 2002 as was originally stated when I released this word...God has interrupted the timeline of world events that were taking place in November of 2002 delaying for a brief time both the war with Iraq and this great quake. Are the two events somehow linked together prophetically? I don't know. I do know that I am sure that I heard the Lord concerning this coming quake, and that it will come to pass soon.

We must remember that there is Bible precedence for the divine delaying of prophetic events...


There is also trying to explain why "words from the Lord" have to be revised by the mouth of man.
Perhaps that is why all the date-setters keep reinterpreting the book of Revelation?

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#3 The following is a portion of a prophecy uttered by Kim Clement on December 1, 2001:

"Thus saith the Lord... Don't you speak to Iraq or Lybia. Don't you speak to Bin Laden, they're not worth it. You gotta speak to the mountain, the mountain will be removed.

They say it's a holy war. What's a holy war? I am the only one who's holy. I decide the holy ground, I decide the holy mountain, I decide the holy thing. I am the holy one. I am holy one."

"What is it that I'm gonna do in the next 5 days. I'm gonna take him out of his cave and bring him to his knees. Before he dies he'll say my name, he's got no other choice. There's a sound that's coming from the mountain, there's a sound that's coming from the heavens. Every terrorist that's been possessed by the spirit of hatred and division and death, they have got to bow their knee this week. They've got to bow their knee this week." "I'm the one that decides the holy ground. I'm the one that decides the holy king. I decide who I will touch. I decide who I will heal. Cause I'm the holy one," says the Lord.

"Everybody lift my name up because this week is gonna be a week of victory. America! America!" "There's gonna be a breakthrough! Count it down, says the Lord. Just 5 days, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Just 5 days, says the Lord."


Terrorists have attacked in Bali, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Iraq and Israel in the past few months. According to Kim's prophecy every terrorist should have "bowed their knees" by December 6, 2001. Let's see, he said to count the days. It is now May of 2003. The count is now close to -720,721, -722, -723,...what gives, Kim?

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Caption for picture below: HEY, BUDDY, WANNA BUY A PRAYER CLOTH? HOW ABOUT SOME ANOINTING OIL?


 


 
   
 

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